Unexpected Beauty

I grew up in a generation where Hollywood sensationalized the cemetery as a place of ghosts, ghouls, and zombies. Maybe it was because our Halloween costumes and customs were more fun being scary then being innocent and good, or because the 90s was ripe with horror movies. There are plenty of stories kids, and adults, tell of the local cemetery. Often, there is a real fear in the hearts of young people as they drive by the cemetery at night. There is a feeling that scary characters live there and are planning devious actions to hurt us. As we age, we have also come to need cemeteries. We go there when a loved one passes away and participate in a graveside service. We watch ones we love mourn for those they’ve lost and we ourselves grieve. Now we have real pain and heartache associated with such a place. Combined with the horror movie perception of the cemetery, it is no wonder many people have grown accustomed to avoiding the local cemetery instead of viewing it as a place of sanctity and beauty. As an anomaly to the culture, I have had a fond relationship with cemeteries all my life.

I became familiar with the cemetery as a kid. My dad, being a monument designer for over 35 years, toted our family around through cemeteries as we watched him work. I rode my bike through the cemetery, learned how to drive on their winding roads, and took my wife there during our dating years. This year during the social distancing orders related to the Coronavirus, we celebrated my 13 year old daughter’s birthday in the cemetery with take-out Chinese food, sunny weather, laughter and family conversation. I have found cemeteries to be a serene and calming place to rest, think and be with family. When we miss the purpose of that hallowed ground, we begin to lose sight of the idea of honoring those who have passed.

Instead of seeing the cemetery as painful and scary, what if we begin to look at it as a peaceful, sacred ground? We can come to appreciate and honor those who have gone before us. Designing a memorial or monument for a loved one becomes a sacred journey, a kind of rite-of-passage, instead of an arduous and scary obligation. There is unexpected beauty in these grounds that have seen so much pain. Cemeteries are places where you can find closure if you have lost a loved one. You can see history of people you have never met, and you can find the peace and serenity of some of the most beautiful outdoor spaces in our community. As a monument designer, I enjoy designing memorials for families who have seen the pain of loss. It is my honor to walk alongside them on their difficult journey. It is part of my job to expose them to the beauty of the cemetery and the healing it can bring through celebrating the cherished memories of the people who have gone before. The next time you pass a cemetery, consider turning in, even if briefly. Take a moment to reflect on that sacred space and enjoy the tranquility and peace it can bring.

Matt Morrison